i can hear your heart beating
by JanieZ
Summary: It's not their first fight and certainly won't be the last, yet this time it's different. It is no simple quarrel – or like their friends prefer to say lovers spat – no. This time it is a full blown fight, the words thrown meant to hurt. And hurt they did, in all the dark places both of them have come to cradle in the most secluded areas of their hearts. RivaMika Modern AU
1. Distance

**This is part of my modern AU series I started some time ago and also posted on my tumblr. The One-Shots are connected with each other, however there is no specific order to the events. Please enjoy.**

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She waits impatiently, fingers fidgeting and twiddling with her ever present scarf, watching the red digits of her alarm clock blink rhythmically as if mocking her. The minutes don't go by fast enough as she stares back at the blue screen, waiting for that stupid 4 to finally turn into a 5 like she has done so many times over the past few months.

Absentmindedly, her fingers strum across the polished surface of her desk in a melodic pattern, unconsciously thrumming a familiar song that reminds her so much of the time when they first started going out. Of times when everything was a little easier still.

She is not nervous, and most definitely she's not scared – a little anxious maybe, if at all. However, as soon as his picture appears on her screen her heart beat accelerates, pulse humming wildly and she's feeling like a teenage girl all over again.

She takes the call almost immediately, trying to calm her raging nerves as she waits for the video to connect. A tender smile lights her face when it does and she finally sees him – blue eyes stoic as ever, yet there is a softness to them she hasn't seen in a long time.

His greeting is gentle, voice smooth and rich, and the subtle quirk of his lips warms her heart in the most delicious ways. On instinct, elegant fingers reach to touch the monitor, entertaining the idea of him actually being within her reach, for her to caress. Tears well in her eyes – longing and joy alike – as she breathes the three words that have been constantly haunting her mind every waking moment: "I miss you."


	2. Distraction

**This is an AU story, therefore the age gap isn't that big. Mikasa is about 21, Levi about 27. Also, this is rated M.**

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"Stop it!" she grumbles into her palm when she swats his hands away for the hundredth time this night. Her back is hunched, nose buried deep inside the pages of The Selfish Gene – a book her professor recommended she read, because apparently it was somehow essential to pass this class – and up until now she's paid great heed to ignore his advances. But damn, he was getting harder and harder to ignore.

"Stop what?" his voice is low, just a murmur against her skin as he trails his lips along her throat, licking the shell of her ear, then nibbling at it with his teeth, making her suppress the groan that's threatening to escape her lips. He seems completely oblivious to what his actions are doing to her – or maybe he isn't, if that self-satisfied look on his face was any indication, but she likes deluding herself into thinking he actually respects her study time.

He is sitting beside her, hands wandering along her ribs, teetering dangerously close to her breasts. "This… what you're doing. It's distracting me."

"Oh", he chuckles darkly, "you mean this?" He gives her neck another experimental lick just as his fingertips graze her nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt, and this time she moans involuntarily. Her head lolls against his shoulder and for a moment she actually relishes in the feelings he's eliciting from her.

"Sorry, but I can't help it. Not when you're this sensitive to my touch, Mikasa."

She turns to face him, hooded eyes sparkling maliciously and a retort already on the tip of her tongue, but one of his hands is still on her breasts, the other sliding up her chest towards her neck. Before she can even open her mouth, he's already silenced her with a kiss. She gasps but he swallows it hungrily, taking advantage of her parted lips to slip his tongue inside her mouth, kissing her even deeper. Her hands move on their own accord, wrapping around his neck, self-restraint flying out the window as she loses herself in the way his lips feel against hers.

Soon her book lies abandoned on the dining table and Mikasa has moved to straddle his lap, never once breaking the contact of their mouths as she responds eagerly; hands tangling in the soft black strands of Levi's hair, tugging softly. She runs her fingertips along the base of his neck where his hair is trimmed and he sighs contently, the feeling always making him lean more into her touch. It's calming and sensual. He closes his eyes at the warmth that's spreading inside his belly.

"I really should study," she moans into his mouth between kisses. It comes out breathy, barely audible, and it's contradicting her actions with every stroke of her tongue or her tightening grip on his hair. "I might fail if I don't."

"Mhmm….," he hums, lips dipping to trail along her jaw, down the column of her throat. His breath tickles against her ear with every word he speaks, sparking goose bumps all over her body. "We both know that you never fail though." And there's nothing she can say to that. She's clearly lost that round, and the self-righteous look that crosses his face is more than enough to confirm, yet at this point she can't really bring herself to care anymore. Not with the way his cold lips feel against her flushed skin or how his long fingers have started unbuttoning her shirt in an agonizingly slow pace, brushing delicately against her heated skin while doing so.

Lowering his head, his mouth and tongue make their way along her collarbones, teeth grazing softly and drawing throaty whimpers with every bite, then down the valley of her breasts while he slides her shirt off her shoulders, discarding it in a mindless heap on the floor. Bared to his eyes, they wander across her exposed chest, drinking in her hued expression before lingering on the hard tips of her breasts.

"Prepared, are we?" His grin is full of arrogance and she swears to herself to wipe it off his face; however, that train of thought is soon forgotten when he takes one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking on it greedily just the way she likes it and she arches her chest into him wantonly. A content sigh leaves her lips soon turning into a low moan when his teeth scrape over the rosy bud. Her hands grab at his hair again, yanking his head even closer and she starts moving her hips over the hardened ridge of his still clothed erection. He purrs in appreciation, the sound encouraging her further and she rolls her hips against his more firmly; the friction jolting pleasure throughout her whole body in the most delicious waves.

"Levi…"

She's needy, urgency palpable in every sound of her raspy voice. She wants to touch him, to feel his muscles stretch beneath her fingers, feel his body react to every brush of her hand and see the way she's making him feel painted across his handsome face. To see him unraveling in front of her. Because of her. Though she knows this time it's her turn to let him do the work. He wants her to be submissive, needs to be in total control of the situation.

And she lets him and it is feeling just too good.

Levi's hands glide along her ribcage slowly, skimming across her buttocks to her thighs, caressing the soft flesh beneath and sliding up the fabric of her skirt to rest on her hips, just before the thin string of her panties. He keeps kissing around her breasts, his thumbs drawing circles across her bare hipbones, dipping towards her inner thigh near her center, withdrawing before actually touching where she's aching for the most. "Tell me what you want, Mikasa," his movements halt momentarily, mouth releasing an abused nipple as he looks up at her, icy blue eyes swirling with lust gazing at her expectantly.

She loves seeing him like this, can't remember a time when he wasn't watching her with this smoldering gaze as he drinks her in. A look reclusively reserved for her, touching deep inside her soul like no other ever has before. She kisses his upper lip softly, reveling in this rare moment of tenderness between them.

Not one for words, Mikasa then takes one of his hands in hers, holding eye contact while she guides it to the already damp spot between her legs and letting him feel just how his touches are affecting her. "Please, Levi."

It's an invitation Levi isn't about to decline.

He teases her entrance through the cloth lightly, loving to see her squirm atop of him before finally dipping below the lacy undergarment. The fact that she's nearly naked while he is still fully clothed is soon forgotten, the feel of his fingers against her clit leaving all thought abandoned in the back of her mind.

She moans loudly as one digit slips between her folds, moments later being joined by another as they move in and out of her at a leisurely pace. Mikasa's hands come to rest on his shoulders, needing some kind of leverage as she tries to get them even more into her, hands roaming wildly over the expanse of his back. It's all too much, with his lips trailing along the column of her throat and fingers moving, she groans loudly, throwing her head back as an orgasm forces itself out of her.

Levi lets her ride it out, leaving butterfly kisses down her neck, all over her collarbones and the valley of her breasts, feeling the calming beating of her heart flutter under his lips until her breathing steadies and her moans subside and she is looking at him with a satisfied smile grazing her flushed face.

"I love the way you look after you come undone," he brushes his knuckles along her temples lovingly, "Knowing that it was me who made you feel this way, that you are mine. I can't get enough," he murmurs, fingers tracing the contour of her face before tangling in her inky strands to tug her down in a gentle kiss, taking his time to taste her as his tongue strokes hers coaxingly.

Parting her lips, he guides her into a languid kiss, lips slanting softly against hers, unhurried and slow, yet thoroughly devouring in a way that leaves them both breathless. Mikasa is the one who tears away first, breaking the kiss as she rests her forehead on Levi's, half-lidded eyes watching him as her fingers come to touch his cheek, cradling it in her palm gently. "I am yours, Levi," her warm breath fans across his lips as she speaks, making the hairs on his neck stand. She pecks him again, short and sweet, granting him with her most beautiful smile as she pulls away. The sudden shifting of her body has him choking back a sustained groan, making her acutely aware of the still throbbing hardness beneath her.

"Now, I think I might need a short reiteration of the last lesson," she teases him, fingers trailing down his throat with the softest of touches. Grinding, she emphasizes her statement with a roll of her hips. "Don't you think so, too?" He grunts again, head nuzzling against the thrashing of her pulse, feeling visibly shaken from having to restrain himself until now – her pleasure being more important, always. Her hands snake around his neck, massaging it with her thumbs softly as his come to rest on her waist "Yeah. I think I might still be able to teach you a thing or two. This one is going to be a lot more detailed though," voice low and stained and she yelps in surprise when he stands up suddenly to sit her down on the dining table.

Her hands grab at the documents strewn about the table, papers sent flying with one sweeping motion. Levi shoots her a reprimanding look at the mess but she just smiles innocently, knowing that he'll let it slide just this once. He mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like brat, the sound dying in his throat when her hand brushes against his crotch.

She giggles at his antics and the evident impatience planted across his face as he fights with the buckle of his belt, cussing under his breath when it won't open. However, as much as she enjoys seeing him struggling with something as simple as this, she's craving this way too much. "Here," she murmurs as she blows a light kiss against the juncture of his neck, her fingers coming to rid him of the garment "let me help."

Pants riding down to his knees, he hooks one arm under her shoulder while his other holds her hips firmly, anchoring her to him as he lies her back down on the cold surface of the table. His breathing is ragged as he crouches over her, finally free of his constraints and he catches her mouth in a hungry kiss, angling her hips and bunching up her skirt as he eases into her in one swift movement.

Both of them let out a content moan at being joined at last, and he holds back for just a moment to brand this feeling into his memories before he starts thrusting into her, establishing a rhythm that has both of them gasping. His kisses breathe all the words neither of them says aloud, leaving invisible marks all over her soul just like his touches keep marking her body.

His fingers bite into her skin, sure enough to leave bruises, but his grip doesn't ease as he keeps pushing into her at a steady rhythm, reaching deep inside of her and making her whimper everytime he hits that spot within her. His lips are caressing one of her breasts nipping on it softly, while his hand is teasing the other and it's almost too much for her to handle. She bucks her hips to meet his, legs hooking itself higher around his waist, trying to go faster, her orgasm already building but he doesn't break the pace he's set. Broken gasps fill the room along with his grunts, sounding like music to her ears, complimenting the sliding of skin against skin in a perfect melody.

They are both close, breathing uneven and coming out in heavy puffs. He is diving strongly into her, reaching all the right places and she's biting his neck to stifle the pleasured screams wanting to escape her. His thumb brushes her clit as he licks her throat. "Come for me, Mikasa," and she does, with his name on her lips and his heart in her hand. The orgasm is long, powerful and draws all those luscious sounds from between her lips, her cries only muffled by his shoulder. Levi comes with her seconds later with a soft groan against the shell of her ear, releasing into her.

Thoroughly spent he slouches forward, head coming to rest against her shoulder, hot breath fanning against her collarbone; the contact causing shivers to run down her spine.

It takes both of them some time to get down from their high, and when they do Levi's blue eyes blink at her from under his lashes, still heavily clouded but equally as satisfied. His gaze switches to the ground, eyeing the papers lying there along with the crumbled heap of her clothes. "You're going to clean that up," he grumbles, though it's far from intimidating.

"Later," and she yanks him down again, mouth smoothing over his in lazy strokes, "Much, much later."

He's hoisting her up in one swift movement then, long legs wrapping around his waist automatically, and he's carrying her to her bedroom as Mikasa's giggles turned moans echoing across the room.

Needless to say she didn't get much more studying done that night.


	3. Dispute

"Get the hell out of my apartment!" Her yell resonates throughout the tiny space, her face an angry grimace as she indignantly points a finger at her front door.

He's never seen her quite this upset before but neither has she him.

Their fight had escalated quickly. One minute they had been conversing normally, telling each other about their day and the next they were spitting insults in each other's faces. One false turn in their conversation is all it had taken and now it's as if they just stepped on a landmine.

There is a crash to his left and a moment later another object comes aiming straight at him, almost grazes his cheek but he side-steps it at the last second. There are shards laying everywhere, intricate patterns snake in beautiful colors around the broken edges – ah, there goes another vase then.

The various objects lying around in scrambled heaps on the ground resemble more of a battlefield rather than their living room floor. Not even her favorite coffee mug has endured her little tantrum unscathed as it lies beside her feet. Although it's only missing its handle, this whole ideal shows the severity of this situation.

It's not their first fight and certainly won't be the last, yet this time it's different. It is no simple quarrel – or like their friends prefer to say _lovers spat_ – no. This time it is a full blown fight, the words thrown meant to hurt. And hurt they did, in all the dark places both of them have come to cradle in the most secluded areas of their hearts.

Underneath her strong exterior he can make out the slight wobble of her chin, the tremor in her eyes as she fights back angry tears. Her are layers crumbling one after one, and she is slowly baring herself to him with each tremble of her lips, each blink of her glassy eyes. He sees the creaks in her demeanor, how they curve along the lines of her skin, marking her broken like some porcelain doll. Levi can see them just as easily now as he sees his own.

For a few silent moments he simply stares at her, her chest heaving with repressed anger and frustration and her eyes flashing dangerously. Levi knows she's serious this time. And really, it's not that easy to overlook with half of their belongings strewn about the room.

"I said _leave_ you fucking asshole or I swear to god a few broken glasses will be the least of your worries." Her hand is pointing yet again at the entrance of the apartment, the other making a move to grab the poor areca that's sitting innocently on their coffee table when he doesn't budge right away.

Levi grits his teeth, his nails biting angry half-moons in the flesh of his palms. He watches the furious desperation that's clawing at her face, then the plant in her hands, and then his shoulders slump in surrender. And even though he's just as frustrated as she is, he refrains from an angry comeback and instead obliges to her wish. With quick and measured strides he crosses the small distance of their living room to their front door, picking up his coat as he does so. He is not even fully out the door when she smashes it closed right before his face.

The slamming of the door echoes through the empty halls of the apartment complex long after. It's almost funny, because, besides the anger that is still bubbling inside them both it mirrors exactly what they feel at this moment.

:::

Five minutes later, Mikasa still finds herself leaning against her door, breathing steadier now, yet the aching in her chest almost makes her crumble to her feet. This isn't supposed to happen. Not to them. Sure, they have had their fair share of arguments in the past. That is just how they are and how their relationship works.

Never before, though, has it gone this far.

Mikasa isn't even sure what it was exactly they were arguing about any more, the only thing she is left with is the growing emptiness and the feeling of something just having gone horribly wrong.

"I'm sorry," Levi says, his voice muffled against the hard wood of her door. She can almost feel him leaning against it just as she is.

She sighs, tears still wet on her cheeks making some strands of hair stick to them like melted ink. She feels exhausted, both physically and mentally. It's then that her body finally gives into its fatigue as she slides down the length of the door, her head bumping against the wood with a dull thud as she lets it rest against it. Her whisper gets swallowed by the empty room.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too."

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 **AN: I know the chapters are all pretty short and not in chronological order. Still, I'd greatly appreciate some feedback (positive or negative, as long as it is constructive I don't care) just to know if I should even still continue this or if I should just let it be to actually use the time for other projects. Thanks.**


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